Member-only story
When A Child Dies,
Fathers Grieve Too!
I am heartbroken to witness the grief of friends. The family lost their two-year-old child to Leukemia. The intense grieving of the dad, Petrus, haunts me.
Many times, we neglect a dad's grief because men don’t cry. Petrus sobbed on the inside. He swallowed hard, trying to be strong. It was challenging to respond to his feelings. Instead, he sat staring ahead, pleading with God for an answer to his loss.
The ladies delivered casseroles to the family daily. A week after the funeral, I visit the couple & we talk. I learn Petrus avoids people. He is angry and impatient. He yells at his wife & older son for no reason and stays at work for long hours. Life is not pleasant for this family.
The couple agrees to meet with a grief counselor. Maria, his wife, knows Petrus is grieving & they all need support and care.
At the meeting of a group of parents, Petrus & Maria listen to the fathers describe their feelings & desperation on the death of their child. One thing that helps the hurt is talking about the child you lost—speaking of memories of fun & good times and the experience of death. The couple realizes discussing their emotions lightens the pain, clears the anger, and affirms their feelings.
