He worked to Defuse his anger
--
to save his love life.
Two years ago, Sophie separated from her husband Dennis because she was afraid of his outbursts of anger.
I had not seen or heard from them since they moved.
So it was a lovely surprise to get an unexpected visit from Dennis this morning!
Somewhat anxious & cautious, I invited him in. He immediately reassured me that he was a changed man, stating he had undergone counseling & psychotherapy for the past two years. He is confident that the treatment was successful.
Furthermore, he & Sophie have reconciled.
“Pray, tell me, Dennis, how did your problem get resolved — what kind of treatment did you undergo?” I asked.
“I had to do a lot of soul-searching about my early childhood experiences. The therapist said anger may mask other painful feelings from early adverse experiences & trauma.”
“I had many days of counseling. It brought me to recognize the pain I had caused Sophie. But what helped most was the daily relaxation practice, & meditation the therapist taught.”
“When I feel the surge of anger, I sit down in a relaxing recliner. The therapist says the brain interprets a sitting position as safe & relaxing, thus interrupting the flow of anger-enhancing adrenaline.”
“Then, we discuss my feelings with the therapist and lately with Sophie. After that, I have to concentrate on relaxing all my muscles.”
“I should never go to bed angry, as it would reinforce negative emotions.”
Furthermore, the therapist advised him to take a step back & view the situation from a distance the next time his blood boils.
He should engage in deep breathing first & visualize something more positive, then evaluate his anger on a scale of 0 to 100.
He should project what may happen if relaxation techniques do not lower the number.
Dennis is encouraged to;
1. talk to a trusted person,
2. exercise regularly,
3. read, write, listen to music,
