He worked to Defuse his anger

Freda Savahl
3 min readApr 15, 2022

to save his love life.

Photo by Külli Kittus on Unsplash

Two years ago, Sophie separated from her husband Dennis because she was afraid of his outbursts of anger.

I had not seen or heard from them since they moved.

So it was a lovely surprise to get an unexpected visit from Dennis this morning!

Somewhat anxious & cautious, I invited him in. He immediately reassured me that he was a changed man, stating he had undergone counseling & psychotherapy for the past two years. He is confident that the treatment was successful.

Furthermore, he & Sophie have reconciled.

“Pray, tell me, Dennis, how did your problem get resolved — what kind of treatment did you undergo?” I asked.

“I had to do a lot of soul-searching about my early childhood experiences. The therapist said anger may mask other painful feelings from early adverse experiences & trauma.”

“I had many days of counseling. It brought me to recognize the pain I had caused Sophie. But what helped most was the daily relaxation practice, & meditation the therapist taught.”

“When I feel the surge of anger, I sit down in a relaxing recliner. The therapist says the brain interprets a sitting position as safe & relaxing, thus interrupting the flow of anger-enhancing adrenaline.”

“Then, we discuss my feelings with the therapist and lately with Sophie. After that, I have to concentrate on relaxing all my muscles.”

“I should never go to bed angry, as it would reinforce negative emotions.”

Furthermore, the therapist advised him to take a step back & view the situation from a distance the next time his blood boils.

He should engage in deep breathing first & visualize something more positive, then evaluate his anger on a scale of 0 to 100.

He should project what may happen if relaxation techniques do not lower the number.

Dennis is encouraged to;

1. talk to a trusted person,

2. exercise regularly,

3. read, write, listen to music,

Freda Savahl

Retired Nurse Practitioner WHC /Contract Provider Deployment Military Services. US Citizen. Immigrant from South Africa 1978.